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Monday, May 12, 2008

Time

I have now reached the time in my life where my old, loved ones are fading away. I have been very lucky to still have both sets of grandparents still alive. I guess I haven't even given it a thought that their time here on this earth is coming to an end. Grandma Packard has been in the hospital for quite some time now and has not been doing well. The family is having a really hard time...and I have shed my fair share of tears. I went to go visit her with my mom last weekend, and to tell you the truth I almost didn't want to go. Grandma Packard is slowly losing her memory and I didn't know if she would recognize me. We reached her room and there was Grandpa sitting, watching over Grandma. To test Grandma we asked her what daughter was here and she answered right. Then we asked her what granddaughter was here.....she looked at me for a long time then closed her eyes and thought really hard. She couldn't remember who I was. I wanted to shout, "I know you can do it Grandma...I know you know me!" I tried to stay strong after that for my mom but I couldn't and broke down. After I had gained somewhat composure, I sat on her bed and just told her what I would be doing this summer. She looked at me and smiled for a second but then she closed her eyes and put on her "grumpy face" that she has been having for a while. I just keep praying that everything will go well and that she will soon regain her memory; but then again, I have to remember that we are all on the Lords timetable and that it may be her time to go. If it is her time to go, I know that I will see her again up in Heaven and she will remember me. That's where I am so grateful for the Gospel that I have in my life. To know that death is just a small step for us to be able to live eternally with our families. To know that we are not bound by death. To know that when my time comes, I will not fear because I am going back to live with my Heavenly Father. What a blessing it has been and will continue to be, to have that knowledge.

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