Another year has gone by....

Where I thank my lucky stars I have this girl for a sister! Monday was our BMT (bone marrow transplant) birthday! I thought this year marked 10 years but time has gone even faster! It's 11 this year! 11 years ago Megan and I were in the hospital waiting for a life changing moment to happen. A moment where a little sister would save her big sisters life. I think about this day quite often. How it brought Megan and I closer together as siblings. This year I was able to read some journal entries from Megan during this time which was kinda special because I've never really heard the story from her perspective. Megan was 10 years old at the time. A tiny 10 year old mind you. I can't imagine the courage it took for Megan at that time. I look up to her quite a bit even though she is my younger sister. She really knows what she wants in life and goes after it. She is very confident in her own skin and is gorgeous! Megan is very talented and excels in everything that she does. Thank you Megan for  always being there for me. I'm so grateful to have you for a sister.

Now lets celebrate!

Ten years ago! 

Today is the 10th year Megan and I have been celebrating our BMT (bone marrow transplant) birthday! I can't believe it's been ten years. I love that it always falls right after Thanksgiving. Jake and I have been just exploding with thankfulness this year. Ten years ago I never would have imagined I would be where I am now. Married to an amazing man, and with a beautiful baby girl on the way. The baby girl especially. I remember the doctors telling me it would be very hard for me to have children because of the chemotherapy. I also remember the blessing my grandpa Crosland gave me telling me I would be able to have children (can't remember exactly how he said it). Because of Megan I am able to fulfill one of the greatest missions in my life. To become a mother. I have so much to be thankful for and Megan is one of them. Happy BMT birthday Megan!

Also, I've been reading again in the journal my parents kept while I was in the hospital and found my dads testimony my dad shared with his ward that I would like to share with you.

Nov 23, 2001
"24-28-14-35-6-6-4-8 These are the genetic codes that make up my daughter Heather. It seems odd having one of your children reduced down to a series of numbers and knowing that for Heather to have a good chance of survival one of her siblings would need to have that exact series also. Last Sunday you all joined with us in prayer and fasting that we might be provided a perfect match for Heather. I'm grateful to be able to stand here today and share with you a testimony of prayer and fasting. On Tuesday we received word that Megan was a perfect match for Heather. You would never know it by looking at them or by their personalities but in a direct answer to prayer she was. Even though Natalie was praying and hoping that somehow it might be her. She even broke down in tears and laid on the floor crying with disappointment that she was not the one. But our Heavenly Father knew that her small body would have a hard time providing the 600cc of marrow that would be required for the transplant. Thank you so much for your prayers and faith. I have to tell you that I was struggling during this time. But your combined faith more than made up for my own deficiencies. It is not often you get to hold in your hands such a tangible answer to your prayers, but here is the HLA Class 1 Antigens for each of our children and next to Megan it reads.... 24-28-14-35-6-6-4-8. I know God hears and answers our prayers. And if any of you are sometimes weak like me, and it would help to hold a physical answer to prayer in your hands, I'll leave some copies of this report with the Bishop."

Heavenly Father really does listen and answer our prayers when we are in need. This is an example I look to often and I hope it will help you any time you feel the possible is impossible. Because with the lord and faith, everything is possible. Even an exact match for a bone marrow transplant.

BMT Birthday

Remember this? Well it's been another year and Megan and I got to celebrate our BMT (bone marrow transplant) birthday for the 9th year yesterday. It seems crazy that it was that long ago. We have both come a long way since then. I was looking back at all the pictures that were taken around that scary time for my family and it just boggles my mind how young we all were! Crazy that I am still alive and fulfilling so many things in my life right now. We celebrated it this year by going up to Park City and bowling here. I highly suggest you go there if you have not. So much fun! I won for the first time in my life (seriously....sad) with a score of 101. My dad and Jake were having a bit of an off day. We have also started a tradition (9 years ago) where my parents give each of us kids an ornament to put on our own tree when we are older. Jake and I totally forgot to pick up an ornament at Disneyland (also tradition) while we were there so they picked one up for us.

I love my family so much and am so grateful for this time when we can all be together for the holidays. Grateful for Megan and for this experience that brought us close together. I'm also very grateful for the chance Heavenly Father gave me to continue my journey in life. Hope you all have been enjoying this holiday season and hope you ate a lot of good food because I sure did!

Here is another journal entry from my time in the hospital that I would like to share from my dad.
Nov 21, 2001 11:16pm
"On my way to the hospital on Tuesday I heard a radio add for a new book called the Angel of Eleventh Avenue. I thought it was just a new little Christmas "feel good" book that I might enjoy reading with Heather so I asked Ruth to pick me a copy. We started reading it together and I was surprised to find out that it was about Primary's Children Hospital and a little girl who is 12 years old being treated for leukemia in 1966. Many of the emotions of the last two weeks came flooding back as I sat with Heather in her bed and read to her. More than once she had to take the book and continue reading when I couldn't continue. She would say "That's alright dad, let me read for a while". It helped us both pass the time as we waited for her first chemo treatment to begin. After they got her started with the Cytoxan we finished up the chapter we were on so Heather could try and get some sleep. Before she went to bed I asked her if she would like a fathers blessing to help her through the night. I am so grateful for the Priesthood at times like this when I feel so powerless on my own. As the tears were flowing from both of us during the blessing, Heather put her arm around me and held me tight. So much for me being strong for her. I hear her breathing getting heavy now, she is resting well...thank you."

Thanksgiving and BMT Birthday

There are so many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. First I am so thankful for the wonderful family that I have. I have the best parents anyone could ask for. They are the greatest and have raised me well. I hope I can continue to show them my gratitude for them as I continue to grow. I am also so thankful for my brother and sisters. We all have grown up so much over the past couple of years and have continued to come closer as siblings. They are all such great examples to me. Second, my wonderful grandparents. They all have lived such wonderful lives, have accomplished much, and are full of memories and love for all their children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren. Third, I am thankful for all the wonderful friends that I have had through out my life. They have all been such great examples to me and they are the kind of friends that are always watching out for ya. I have never had to worry about my standards around them because they had the same. Mostly I am just grateful for my family. I love them all so much. And my dads cheesecake, mash potatoes, turkey, and the plethora of pies. I can't forget about those. Today was also Megan and I's BMT (bone marrow transplant) birthday. This is the first time it's been right on Thanksgiving. This became a tradition in the hospital when I first received my bone marrow transplant from Megan. The nurses told us that this bone marrow transplant was in a way for me, giving me new life. Therefore I needed a birthday! I gave Megan a gift, and my parents gave Megan and I a Christmas ornament. That tradition has continued in our family ever since, except now my parents give all the children a Christmas ornament. This year is our 8th year since the transplant. Crazy how the time goes by. Sometimes it feels like this was all a dream. As a family we read a little bit of what my parents wrote about that day of the transplant and looked at some pictures....we all looked so little. Thinking back on this, I am full of gratitude for my parents and my sister Megan. I started to get a little teary eyed reading what happened during this day for Megan and I. It's a time in my life that I will never forget. I hope I can use this experience that I was given to help others in any way I can. I didn't get through this trial just to sit and be happy about life.

I can't end this without thanking my Heavenly Father and my savior Jesus Christ. I know that they have been with me every step of the way through my life and they will continue to be with me. I know I still have some things to learn and trials to go through, but however hard and difficult it may be for me, I do not fear for I know that I can always turn to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the gospel and the part that it plays in my life. It's hard to think of what my life would be without it.

BMT Birthday

Yesterday was the 7th year I celebrated my bone marrow transplant with Megan and the family. It's crazy how time has flown! We celebrate by me giving Megan a gift, and then my parents give all of us kids our Christmas ornaments for the year. Broc was able to come and share this happy memory with all of us and my mom even got him his own ornament...a candy cane that was decorated with Utes all over it. We still don't approve of him siding with the enemy team but he is always welcome at our house! I now want to share a page of the journal my parents kept while I was in the hospital for everyone to keep up on what was going on.

Nov 27, 2001
Transplant Day!

This is from Ruth

We got Megan checked into the hospital at 6:00 a.m. and then Roger and I each took a daughter and stayed with them. Megan's bone marrow harvest was done around 9:30 a.m. Then they had to process it and get as many stem cells from it as they could. Heather was patiently waiting in her room. Poor thing--her face was so puffy and swollen. She could hardly see out of her eyes. I was down with Megan as she was in recovery. She had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia and I had a hard time staying awake. At 1:30, they came down and told me that they were starting the transplant and that we could take Megan up to Heather's room in a wheelchair so she could be with her sister. I wheeled her up there and opened the door into Heather's room. Heather and Megan looked at each other and both smiled, and in a tired and weak voice, said hello to each other. As a mother, watching this little interchange between sisters gave me such a warm feeling of love. This experience will give them such a strong bond of sisterhood. I love these two daughters of mine!
We wheeled Megan over to the couch an got her comfortable so she could be there with Heather as her life-giving bone marrow dripped into Heather's line. Several staff members came in with gifts for the 2 girls and sang "Happy Birthday" to Heather. They say that it is a tradition for Heather to have an additional birthday--her BMT (bone marrow transplant) birthday. We had party hats for everyone to wear. Roger's parents were also here, alone with Nathan and Natalie. Amie was home sick with a neighbor and we couldn't afford to have her be around Heather. After the song, the girls were given a poster, a mylar balloon, a beanie baby bear, and a blanket from the staff. Then Roger and I gave them each a Hallmark Christmas ornament. Megan's was a little fairy that was giving away an icicle. Heather's was a little fair that was holding a small bag to receive the gift. Then Heather gave Megan a gift and wants that to be a yearly tradition, because basically, Megan is giving Heather the gift of living.

It's so humbling to go through and read all these journal entries. The time in the hospital is such a blur to me, but I am so thankful for Megan and for this special gift that she has given me. I'm so grateful to have such wonderful loving parents who stayed strong and never gave up hope during this hard time in our lives. I'm so thankful for the support of friends and other family members that I received during this time in my life! Without them, this would've been a long, lonely trial. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!