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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Motherhood guest post #5

Okay stupid moment. I have 3 different e-mail accounts, (don't ask me why) and I ventured into one that I have not used in a while and found another motherhood guest post! (Yikes....sorry Paige!)  So without further delay, here is my dear cousin and her thoughts on motherhood. You can also read her cute blog here

I was nervous to become a mother. Not nervous that I wouldn’t love my baby or that I would crumble from sleep deprivation. I was nervous that when I was handed my baby I would shutdown in ineptitude. I was worried that my inability to predict what’s next would make my planning-ahead tactic useless and I would, in a word, be incapable.

What I found was that taking care of my baby was incredibly natural. I remember the months leading up to Ada’s birth and watching fussy babies get passed to their mama’s arms. I watched the way that the mothers instantly soothed their little one. Could that be me? Will I be able to learn how to do that?
But it was so natural to step into my mothering-skin. I didn’t read books on parenting or research how to best prepare to care for a newborn. A lot of it was just trusting my instincts and my hands. It’s not that I did anything unique, it just came easily because Ada is my daughter, and I’m her mother. That’s the special kind of bond makes the mother the natural soother, the natural understander, the natural nurturer. I have come to know that mothers are very capable people. So, if you're a mother, trust yourself.

I planned on quietly finishing up the last few credits of my undergrad while I stayed at home with Ada and learned what my new-normal was. As it turned out, I was asked to speak at BYU’s Commencement and my husband was accepted to a graduate program in Bologna, Italy. My “quiet” few months turned into a few months of juggling. But I learned that I was able enough to handle it. In the midst of trying to nail down nursing, write a speech for 50,000 people, polish up my public speaking skills, finish up school, and prepare to move abroad, I found that I was capable of doing more than I thought I was. 

I’m not perfect. There are many (many) days where I feel like I fell short. Where I feel like I can’t possibly do all that is asked of me. But I’m trying, day by day, to be proud of the small accomplishments of each day (today I showered, bathed Ada, did two loads of laundry, played endless rounds of peek-a-boo, went grocery shopping, nursed one-handed, made dinner AND found 10 minutes to read. Score). 

Motherhood is about realigning our perspective. It’s about realizing how capable we are. It’s about trusting your instincts and your abilities. It’s about feeling divinely womanly. It’s about slowing down long enough to understand that while time goes fast, we don’t have to. Enjoy it. It is so, so precious.

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